DEAR MRS MANNERS: On my bachelorette party, two of my bridesmaids left after about an hour to go to another party.
My best friend and maid of honor had planned a fantastic party All You can imagine this would be on a bachelorette party and you missed 99% of it.
I chose to ignore it because I wanted to have fun, but my future spouse is telling me to cross them off the wedding or at least tell them it was a terrible thing.
They already paid for their dresses and they parted in the cost of the bachelorette party so I can’t cut them out, but how should I go about this? I am completely at a loss!
DEAR READERS: Was your bachelorette party 100 hours long? Miss Manners is not a mathematician, but your letter suggests that. If your friends didn’t know they’d spent a long weekend with you, she can’t blame them for getting out while they could.
More importantly, though, warn you not to think that this is a contractual obligation – which shows that you have paid for everything related to it. Perhaps this was another reason they felt they had fulfilled their duties, albeit minimally. They thought it was a transaction, not an expression of friendship.
While it is unfortunate that your friends left early – and certainly rude that they double booked themselves – there is no adequate punishment here other than expressing your disappointment: “I was so sad that you left early and that Nightly paintball scavenger hunt and pepperoni tasting. We really missed you. “
If you are feeling brave and fear otherwise, you could carefully add, “I hope you can stay for the entire wedding. I want you there so badly. “
DEAR MRS MANNERS: At dinner in an expensive restaurant, we sat next to a table of 10, including two children under 6. During the three hours of dinner, the children crawled under the table, screamed, climbed on the chairs and the back of the banquet.
None of the adults tried to keep her calm or occupied. They were so loud that it was difficult to have a conversation. There was no way to switch to another table.
What could one have done? I didn’t feel that a suggestion from me would have helped or was received in a friendly manner, and the waiters shouldn’t have to intervene as they rely on tips. The manager was on a different floor.
DEAR READERS: Surely you and the waiters were concerned about the safety of these children. Crawling over the furniture and under the tables is likely to damage their little heads. Miss Manners suggests that you express this fear to the family – or ask the waiters to do it for you – and omit the part about similar damage to your ears.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.